Twilight Zoning…

Sooooooooooooo, have you ever woken up and felt like you floating in between reality and wherever?

I’ve been in between “realities” all day… I can imagine what must be going thru your mind as you read this statement… Don’t worry, I’m perfectly stable, tho I think about the stars and ask questions about earth shit.. I only THINK like I need a shrink, I don’t actually need one (yet)

I realize, as time goes by, that this “world in between worlds” is my world. It’s a bit neglected, some confusion… but it seems to be a system where madness has a purpose. I reside in a world where the exact definition of “reality” is ignored and looked over, so normally & so often, that it seems THEY may actually have to redefine the word.. Change the world’s definition of ‘reality‘ to “acute denial” because it seems to be the same thing really.

okay, I have a lot on my mind, with nobody but my pen & paper to tell it to. No sob story, it’s just my truth. You can’t really imagine the reality of my words, you have to see what I see & feel what I feel to understand what I’m on about, right?

“LIFE WORKS FLAWLESSLY WHEN YOU LOVE… ALWAYS ACT OUT OF A PLACE OF LOVE, WITH EVERYTHING YOU DO & YOU WILL SEE GOD IN ALL THAT YOU DO. FOR THOSE WHO SAY THEY KNOW GOD BUT DO NOT HAVE LOVE ARE LIERS, FOR GOD IS THE PUREST MOST UNCONDITIONAL FORM OF LOVE.”

*Shine Your Light 🙂

 

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FREE YOUR MIND!

*Rox

STAND!… & see the salvation of The LORD,

THERE IS NOTHING HARDER than being told to stand, when all you wanna do is GO! SIT! MOVE! “ANYWHWERE BUT HERE” screams my flesh. My carnality is just about ready to call it quits, as God just stands by me & says, “Wait.”

Seriously, have you ever had just about all you can handle & God’s only response to you is… “Not Yet”?

The test comes now, when I know I have the free will to just call it quits. I know that God will never try to force me to stay & do something that I’ve decided within myself that I will no-longer do, because at the end of the day, all He does is suggest the best possible option for me to take, but by Him putting it on the table doesn’t, in the slightest obligate me to choose His option.

To… follow His advice. To…. choose life. Because lets face it, death, is still very much an option.

The classic conflict of the wills… do I listen and obey or do I Kindly ask God for my steering wheel back? Hahaha, I know what you must be thinking as you sit there reading this insanity… exactly that, INSANITY!

I’M FEELING A LITTLE BIT INSANE AT THE MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna GO but my Daddy keeps telling me “NOT YET” that is not what I wanna hear! But you know what, I TRUST HIM. Even in the midst of such inanity & this war that I am fighting internally just lets me know that the devil is really working overtime to get me to miss something here.

Why does he want me to move so urgently? I almost feel pulled from my seat, like someone is pushing and pulling with all their might that I may not be here in the next ten minutes… Like something BIG is about to go down!

As I sit in my office, of that same job that I am not qualified for…

On second thought…. I think I might just stay 😀 hehehehe…

#SuckItDevil!

okay…. I feel better now #WordVomit

God Bless You Reader.

*Rox

TRUSTING GOD, WHEN I DON'T UNDERSTAND

TRUSTING GOD, WHEN I DON’T UNDERSTAND

THE POWER OF COMPASSION

Yesterday was a very emotional day for me… I could not understand why I felt so down and depressed.

I HAVE NO REASON TO COMPLAIN! Truly I am blessed with a peaceful and favored life, as I previously mentioned, my recent appointment in a job that i’m not qualified for in the slightest, but God has been shining His countenance upon my life.

But yesterday was a hard day, I was crying uncontrollably, I felt so grieved in my spirit & I could not, for the life of me, figure out why. So I did what any child of God does in my position, I PRAYED.

Eventually, after leaving the office early, I could not handle it anymore & decided to go home. Thinking that the devil was attacking me, I decided to not even go to prayer, but God had others plans.

I eventually picked myself up and got dressed for prayer, but on my way there, I bump into one of my sisters in Christ who I haven’t seen in quite a long while. I stopped to chat with her & proceeded to ask her how she was doing…

Then my day began to make scene. She stood there and began to speak, when suddenly, she broke down in the middle of the street as she proceeded to explain to me the challenges she has been facing for a very long time. Challenges that, if she had not told me about, I could have NEVER guessed,  because God has hid her shame so well. So much sorrow. So much pain and depression. Hidden in this beautiful, ever laughing and ever smiling, God-fearing being. I could not help but break down with her, and as I was listening, the Holy Spirit began to explain to me that the extreme sadness and heavy cloud of depression I had been feeling all day, was not at all related to me or my life, but that He wanted me to know, emotionally, what it feels like to be in her shoes.

I cannot begin to express how humbled and aware I am, that I am but a tiny vessel used by God to touch His children.

I do not have much, but the little that I have, I will share with her. Because as horrible as her circumstances are, she still confesses that God Is Good. Though she may have every reason to complain, yet she cries out, “I KNOW MY REDEEMER LIVES!” and such faith, tested through poverty and sickness and disease and death and hunger and eviction, such faith stands like Job, to receive DOUBLE FOR ITS TROUBLE!

My God is an awesome God and I know that HE HAS AREADY MADE A WAY FOR MY SISTER AND HER DAUGHTERS.

I have noting but reverential love and respect for this great God. As He sits upon His awesome throne and only thinks about us… The devil is in trouble!

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!

IN JESUS NAME!

IN JESUS NAME!

GOD BLESS YOU READER 🙂

*Rox

When Jesus Says Yes…

As I sit here, in my new office. During the 1st week of the new job which I do not qualify for, & reflect back on just how GOOD God has been to me.

Its a supernatural event to witness all of your prayers being answered right in front of your eyes… Like, I’m a silent guest in the art studio of a world renowned artist, watching Him put His famous artwork together right in front of me as I stand bank and watch on in science.

God is literally performing His best kept secrets in front of me, on His canvas called my life, I can slowly see this exquisite masterpiece of a painting coming together.

The amazing thing is, I’ve seen this picture before, in my imagination, in my dreams… I’ve seen it all before. what I’ve seen in front of me has never resembled what I saw when I closed my eyes and went to my place of perfect… But I’m seeing it now.

I’m noticing the picture I’ve always known as my REALITY, slowly coming into my reality as I stand quietly in the background and watch the Master at work.

I’m in awe.

Blown away at how the details carved out and painted into this picture are so vivid in front of me. I’ve always been able to see it & taste it & smell it & hear it…. but NEVER have I ever been able to touch it…. I can touch it now.

I CAN TOUCH IT NOW…

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THANK YOU JESUS! 

Soundtrack to my dreams…

These are the lyrics to my VERY 1ST HOUSE SONG… My 1st born child ♡♥♡♥♡♥♡

“Ur the soundtrack to my dreams… where u are is where I wanna be…
                                                        
U- know just how to get the be-st of me…
                                                        
When music hits….I feel no pain
When u hit me Mmmmmm I feel no pain. Say when u hit meeeeeee I feel no pain.
                                               
You’re what my feelings sound like… ur beat is my heartbeat..
“If I could meet someone who makes me feel the way u do… ,  I’ve found love… reeaaaal love.”

Ur the soundtrack to my dreams…
Harmonise…                                              
                                                   
where I wanna be, is where u r…
said I wanna be ryt where u arrrrrreeeee

Ohhhh ohhhhhhh ohhh oh ohhhh ohhh x3″

It sounds a thousand times better than what it reads 😀

Can’t wait for the world to hear it (^_^*)

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*Rox ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

Be Still & Know That He Is Yahweh

God Grew Tired of Us.. :'(

I just watched this documentary about people who have nothing. People born into civil war & war is all they know. The kind that watched everyone they love die one at a time right in front of their eyes, then had to bury those people themselves, literally. People who know the sting of starvation & dehydration….

He said, “when I look back at those days… I used to think. God must be tired of humanity. He must be tired of our evil deeds. I thought… God grew tired of us.”

My heart…. is wrecked. I’m a mess at the thought of how insane life has to be, for you to reach such a conclusion you must have lived the equivalent of a nightmare. Your waking life is the stuff that people’s worst most terrifying nightmares are made of.

And then he shocked me harder…
He said, “but everything comes to end. I pray hard that God help me do the job that I am here to do & I pray for those back home. Look at me now… at 13 I was burying bodies of people I loved & now, years later, I am wearing clothing & living in a house & I’m happy. I know that the war is still on today, but maybe one day. One minute, the war will be over.”

I have no words but…. God thank you for blessing me beyond my knowledge. It could have been so much worse. Thank you God that it’s not.

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*Roxy♥

Be Still & Know That He Is Yahweh